Lil Kim, Blow Up Doll; image by David LaChapelle

"Blow Up Doll" Image Credit: David LaChapelle

He wants me..

……………………though he knows me not.

He wants me..

……………………..he thinks I’m beautiful  “Your my Living Doll..” he whispers at my earlobe…though he’s never really seen me.

He wants me..

……………………..he wants my legs wrapped around him, ankles crossed at his waist, holding, gripping, and lifting me…though he’ll never ever feel me.

He wants me..

………………..because he says he “thinks” he loves me.

But how? How could he want me?  How could he possibly love me..When I’m not the “Me” that he thinks I am.  In fact, I’m the (ME) that he refuses to see.

(ME): Flawed and imperfect. Slightly irregular. Quirky and disoriented. Clumsy and restless. Discontented and needy. Destructive, ill and indecisive. I sleep with Skeletons and Bathe the Devil. I sometimes laugh when I shouldn’t and take things much too personal. I can be cruel, narcissistic and impatient.

But, He Wants Me..

Only because he’s too blinded by what “he wants”  that he’d rather sleep with a lie and take home a fantasy than to face the plain reality that I am not the (me) that he wishes me to be.

I’m flawed and imperfect. Slightly irregular, and will never be the vision of what (YOU) think (YOU) see.


© 2012, Mantra Lotus. All rights reserved.

Mantra Lotus (28 Posts)

"I Float".. I Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee..ain't nobody got nothin' on me." I Float with iridescent blue wings.. high on top of purple dust..low to the oceans floor. I spin and whirl, wallow and sink. I am who I am, only because it's who I've been blessed to be. All-knowing and nothing. I knew you long before YOU knew you. Plugging USB cords to the universal cipher, I stay lit. I do what I do, simply because I DO IT. I love, hurt, bleed, laugh, cry, dance. F up, F down, (sideways and on my knees). I pray for forgiveness, and sleep on books of ancestral secrets. I love life because "it's" mine. I want bliss, happiness, joy, and "The love of my life", but I face reality that I may have to settle for the fattest, funkiest, avocado, soy burger and wheat-grass juice. "I Float"..Not fast. Not slow. Just enough for (YOU) to stay with...(ME). Mantra (Writer, Poet and Artist from The Greater St. Louis Area)


  1. Mantra,

    You are back! This is the challenging, provocative tone that seems to be your voice of first choice.

    You have depths, angles, edges, and mysteries, but you also have beauty, light, spirit, passion and honesty. Who ever could know such a complex being?

    Yet I believe anyone with a shred of character could love you for what you are as you reveal it to others and yourself.

    I for one love the way you right; I love that you fight for people who can no longer fight for themselves. I love that you are risque. I love that you are able to reveal things you discover about yourself.

    Also, I am willing to bet on you anytime, anywhere. Any he who had the good fortune to meet you personally, would be a fool not to love you and as time goes on he could get to know you. Your bad is better than many people’s good. Just make sure the he is worthy of you whatever he knows or does not know.

    As ever,


  2. Mantra Lotus (Author)

    Yay..! Thank you Larry. This is my favorite way of writing. Expressing the dynamics of life, love, and longing which seems to be my signature quest. :) I love that (YOU) hear me and listen. It’s difficult sometimes to merge my desires (writing and love) with duty and responsibilities. Something always seems to take a backseat..(if for a min.)

    As always I’m working it out..:) As for the last part..(Still in waiting) But, I promise to all that love me and to myself that I won’t ever make the same mistake twice. I think I know what I deserve and I won’t settle for anything less:) Thank you Larry.. I love you so much for who you are, what you’ve given and taught me..and that I can call you “FRIEND”.


  3. So much truth in this. I think many people see what they want to see to some degree. some of us are blinded by love, but many are blinded by lust. lol Great piece.

  4. Mantra Lotus, this is a powerful and insightful piece of poetry. I agree with every work of Larry’s comment and would have been proud to have written it myself (if he hadn’t beaten me to it!).. He is a very evolved person.

    And keep in mind that Real men Can love Real women. So just keep on keepin’ it real! Great work!

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