I am feeling stupid and
Disconnected and not real
I can feel the smoke in the
Bar go right through me
Eyes gazing past me
I am feeling
Like the thin sheet of glass
About to shatter

I can feel you
Over there
Waiting to unravel me
Putting me in a vise
I wanted no choice in the matter
But I wanted no choices

I want to
Let go of the awkwardness and anger
And of the sadness and resentment
I want to let it all go and
Drift off
I want to be the things I pretend to be
Happy and well-adjusted
And worth the chance you might
Take on me
And worth sticking around for
I want to be solid and seen and touched and

10 November 2007
On the occasion of (re)meeting an old friend from high school…who is now my boyfriend.

© 2012, Anya Pham. All rights reserved.

Anya Pham (4 Posts)


  1. Anya, I love this, especially the first verse. I have felt the very same way, “like the thin piece of glass about to shatter”. I’m so glad you had the happy ending, as well. Great poem!

    • Anya Pham (Author)

      Thank you so much, Melody! I put this up because it’s one of my ‘lost’ poems. My computer crashed a couple of years ago, and I lost over 100 poems I’d written recently. I recovered this going through my emails – I sent a copy to my boyfriend after we’d been together a little while – and right now, it’s the only one I still have from 2007.

  2. My comment appears to be lost. Damnit! I said I love the way you write. Your descriptives cut right into my heart. A talented girl you are. :)

    • Anya Pham (Author)

      Thanks so much, Dani! That’s a huge compliment!

Got something to say?

WP-SpamFree by Pole Position Marketing