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When the Ghost of the Child speaks

 

I always listen to the ghost of my daughter

she is aware of so much now that she has gone

since she left this world in the violent aftermath

of a deranged & drunken driver so long ago

I never ask her why anymore, she has taught me

there is no reason to the human condition of killing

there is no justice for it, there is only the loss that is real

she has taught me that tragedy is useless unless you remember

to love even when your whole being wants you to hate

even when you see the brutality unfold right in front of you

she simply sits there, still only 7 years old, telling me, over & over

just love, daddy, just love, no more hate

& I listen to this ghost, despite the horrible reality that unfolds

in any given moment I am still living in…her soft voice begs for it…

just love, daddy, just love…& I listen

& I listen

© 2012, A. Razor. All rights reserved.

A. Razor (5 Posts)

A. Razor was born in Brooklyn, N.Y. in 1963, but brought to California at the age of 1. He was raised with a strong desire to read and write, but an even greater desire to survive, which has aided his experience and longevity so far. He began writing and publishing around 1980 in various underground zines and publications, first in the Los Angeles area, then ever expanding outward from there as he was discovered by Drew Blood Press, Ltd. in 1984. He has read his work at many readings and spoken word events over the years. He has fought hard to live and express his art for many years in many ways. Recently he became a member of the Hollywood Institute of Poetics in Los Angeles, CA in 2009. On January 13, 2012, A. Razor combined efforts with Iris Berry and founded Punk Hostage Press, which publishes books and brings literary arts to an audience that is inside institutional situations such as shelters, jails, prisons and treatment centers. His writing has always explored the world that he has sought to be a part of and to rebel against in the same paradoxical moment. He has traveled extensively, seeking and enduring everything from homelessness and imprisonment to serenity and peace. He now works with non-profit organizations in order to be a steward of services and support for those who have similar circumstances.


3 Comments

  1. I can so dearly relate to this, is so many ways. I lost my wife 15 months ago after a 14 year battle against cancer. Even at the cancer that was to destroy her body, my wife did know how to hate. I continue to learn so much from her.

  2. Such beautiful words to describe such an unendurable loss. No parent should ever have to stand over the grave of a child. Powerful and so achingly sad.

  3. “Umph”. That’s it. Poignantly Simple. The truth of a child..no matter where she may be. I’ve always believed that there is a very thin line between the living and the deceased. Actually, I believe that most of us who believe that we are “Alive” are just the opposite. Revolt in the Living!!!! It’s all around us and A. Razor..thank you for being conscious of that fact and accepting (although painful).

    Beautiful and giving piece. “Keep on listening”.

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